And it’s not comfortable. And you can’t spit it out.
So I’ve spent the whole last week on swallowing some criticism (sometimes bad things love company, so they come all together at once). Self-doubt included. I won’t deny.
Let’s be clear. We all get criticism for things we do in life. Some are constructive. Some are just bad-mouthed ranting. The suck part of being an adult is that you have to take way too much criticism than when you were a child. And the sucker part is that these criticism have a too great impact on our lives when we are grown up — sometimes they are devastating enough to shatter our soul.
I am an easily mentally affected by words. Also easily get overwhelmed too. Last week there was someone said something bad about my writings. And he offered his service “to help” me fix “my problem”. I don’t think it’s 100% pure constructive opinion since he had an intention behind his comment.
Honestly, when reading his comments, his words were like swords stabbing me right in my heart. I felt hurt. My mouth got bitter. Something like anxiety mixed with sad and useless feeling struck me hard. I felt extremely uneasy & dizzy.
I spent that whole night replaying his words in my head and got totally knocked down in my sleep. It was not a good day. Well, sh*t happened, I guess.
When I got calmer, I hit some good song names on Youtube and let the music heal my soul. When I got my eyes on the Like/Dislike bar. Even the greatest music and videos of all time get so many dislikes 🙂 Now this is reality: we can’t please the whole world.
Our action and contribution is right to these people but might be wrong for others. Because each of us is a different being with our own standards. You can’t live up to other people’s expectations all the time. For my case, someone expected me to write better English like a native English speaker. I admit that I haven’t been that good yet. I respect his right to speak out his opinion.
I went on a research of who he is. And I got this line of his friend talking about him:
“He is also a kind and hospitable person”
It made me change my attitude a little towards him after reading his harsh words. Maybe he just tried to help, that’s all. I don’t need to build my hatred for him or blame myself day after day for being not as good as someone expected me to be.
Come to think of it, I got more compliments and positive criticism about my writing than the bad ones. And what I am doing, although I need to improve for the better, is, in fact, helpful for many people and customers.
Moreover, you know what? If being happy is a choice. Then being offended by other people’s words is also a choice. Criticism needs to be taken, yet let’s understand it’s for us to become better.
After all, you and I will grow from our mistakes. We all do that. One person can only a perfectionist when they hide all the “bad things” about them so nobody can see. So how many more time we have to taste that bitter, humiliating or uneasy feeling, I believe we will be fine.
“There are no mistakes, only lessons.”