I’ve been in love for a long time. I think it’s long enough not only to have dwelt in it romantically but also to see I need to bend my feelings at times not to be hurt.
#1: Two is not always better than one
Two is better than one, but sometimes you’d better off alone to solve your own problem. When you’re in love, you’ll have the tendency to depend on your partner and think you two should do everything together – you think that’s the sign of being in love. However, that’s not always the case. For certain things, you have to solve them on your own cuz dragging your partner into the problem only makes it worse.
So learn to clarify when you should ask your partner to take your hand. One more reason, check #2.
#2: Happy individual creates happy relationship
You can’t be happy if you depend your happiness on someone else. The first rule of being happy is to be happy by yourself. If you can’t love yourself and can be happy on your own, then no one else could bring happiness for you. Even the love of your life. So to re-consider #1, if you are having a problem and see that only you can kill it perfectly, then don’t expect your partner to do that for you and become angry or depressed if he/she can’t.
The difference is, you can do it alone, silently or with them watching, but you know that he/she will support you once you fall.
#3: Love has many colors
Your partner can’t always make you happy and you can’t always make him/her happy. Tears, anger or disappointment etc. will be there at any time. Deal with it, don’t blame it on another because after all, it’s only about the way you see the problem and understand the reasons behind it.
Of course, it’s hard to see through the curtains when you’re not consistent and out of your mind, but instead of upsetting for so long, you can try gradually figuring things out and try to stay calm.
#4: Love is not made to be quitted easily
Your love/lover is your choice, that’s why it’s up to you to keep or throw it/them away. I don’t care that your love is the choice of your heart or brain or destiny or your parents, the final person that decides to fall in love with someone is you. So if things turn out so wrong that you can’t keep it, then you can stop loving them (warning: that’s really the hardest thing to do).
But, if there’s still 1% of chance, don’t give up. Why the number is so ridiculously low, only 1% but I tell you to stay? Because love/lovers is/aren’t something you pick up at the supermarket and throw away when you don’t use them anymore. Especially when you’re in marriage. You may tell that you can divorce and marry someone else instead. But before that, consider my #1, #2 and #3.
#5: You, not anyone, decide you love
Ups and downs are normal in your life and your love life. Even for the couple that always post nice and sweet love things on their wall on Facebook, they still have problems – they just don’t tell you when and how they fix all up. So, the worst thing you can do about your love life is to compare your love life
Ups and downs are normal in your life and your love life. Even for the couple that always post nice and sweet love things on their wall on Facebook, they still have problems – they just don’t tell you when and how they fix all up. So, the worst thing you can do about your love life is to compare your love life to someone else because ‘they look so happy, always’. You made your choice, and you need to work hard to keep your love go on and on. Love can’t feed it itself. Cry when you feel broken, but then stand up and talk to each other to understand him/her and love more.
Why these notes?
Because these are the lessons I learned that bring me through many hard times in my own relationship. And for a Scorpio, an introvert like me, who can only speak my thoughts well when I am alone, I’m glad that I found out these truths. Just share some things here 🙂