Seems like my blog is getting more and more personal, hehe (I don’t mind at all, since it IS a personal blog).
Today, I went to work in a happy mood. Because I know that quitting my full-time job is opening new opportunities for me. It’s thrilling to see what I’m capable of in the future.
I love what I’m doing. I don’t regret things I did anymore. I feel free 🙂 Sure there’s still a scary feeling lingering around me when thinking about the future. But, it’s just a “what if” – like, “what if I can’t earn enough money to raise my child?”, “what if quitting working for a company is a financially stupid decision?”… Deep down there’s still fear. But I know, deep down inside me, I know they are NOT real. They’re not happening. I tell myself to focus on THE PRESENCE.
Honestly, it’s more a big deal if I don’t enjoy writing down my thoughts now than feeling insecure about the unknown future.
Last week, my friend told me that I’m brave. I’m brave because I dare to quit that job and do what I want. I think the situation is kinda similar to when I decided to pass JLPT N2 in one year, starting from N5. It was impossible back then. But I still went on with full determination. I believed in myself and at the same time, I didn’t see “having N2 certificate” is a goal. It’s just one of the journeys for me to test my ability. I just wanted to know how far and how fast I could go.
Same thing with this decision – to quit a full-time job and become a full-time freelancer.
It’s exciting to see how I will grow in this new challenge. I’m grateful to myself for letting me do this.
I’m glad I’m doing all of these.
You might ask – how about your family? Isn’t this age meant to be settled down with your family, especially when you’re a woman, a mother?
I used to regret that I was too shy and kept running away from opportunities when I was at university. I don’t want to regret things I didn’t do anymore. If not now, then when? I’m just 28 years old. I still have pretty much time as well as many chances to explore my ability. I don’t know if it’s the same for other 28-year-old females, but I’m always alarmed that if I don’t do things now, I won’t have the second chance.
So instead of giving excuses, I’d rather jump into it and find a way to balance between my personal needs as well as my family time.
I believe that we’re all capable of doing what we like, stay happy and then, do the same for others. Just be a little more honest with yourself 🙂